


growing pains (pretending to be okay)

by taeseoks



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Other, mention of the afterlife and death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:46:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeseoks/pseuds/taeseoks
Summary: Finding out he was a vampire wasn't what scared Sanha. It was the fact that he was growing up too fast and the pressing urge to become your average teenage boy that brought him to his knees."It hurts, it'll never not hurt, but I've lived my whole life pretending nothing was wrong, so why stop now?"





	1. daybreak

 

Perhaps Yoon Sanha had dyed his bright orange hair to a dirty blonde and then to complete and utter black, but that didn't make him look any more of a vampire then he should've.

Because not only was Yoon Sanha a vampire, seventeen years of age, but Sanha was also, coincidentally the heir to the Yoon-Min throne, despite his lack of understanding of anything apart from books, music and nature.

Yoon Sanha was a fan of nature.

Sanha, as he liked to be called, was not very shocked when his father, Yoon Jinyoung, said aloud that his mother was one strong vampire after she had managed to open a jar of honey, because, of course, that was just some weird pet name.

Who didn't call their significant other a vampire?

Sanha's parents didn't know he was home. He was actually supposed to be at a watercolouring class his friend had persuaded him to join, and had at that exact moment walked into the kitchen, acting as if everything was cool and he wasn't supposed to not be at home.

To be very honest, Sanha didn't like watercolouring.

He ignored the way his parents flinched and asked if he had heard anything, and as he shrugged, pouring himself a glass of water, he counted the seconds of silence. He had realised that this happened often nowadays. Counting, not silence. He would count the tiles on the way to school, associate words to every word on a sign, count the amount of times the screen of the ancient television flickered before the colour faded into life.

He found it weird when the silence slowly stretched over ten seconds. His mouth opened to speak, before he firmly pressed his lips together in a pout, a frown creasing his forehead.

“I don't think it's very normal to call your wife a vampire."

To say Sanha's parents looked shock would've been an understatement, but Sanha was too preoccupied with swishing water around his mouth.

The water escaped in a deep arc, followed by the sweet sounds of Sanha's laughter as his parents asked if he thought vampires were real.

By the end of the day, Sanha was sure he couldn't breathe.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his forearms on his knees and the insides of his wrist facing him. He looked at them, the green, purple and blue lines snaking across the expanse, twisting into his hands and disappearing.

Sanha didn't know vampires had blood in them.

He also didn't know that his mother's last name was Min; Min Yoojung, not Yoon Yoojung.

He wasn't surprised when his parents offered him ice cream a mere two minutes after he had finished dinner. That was a usual complete no go. But he knew his parents wanted to make him feel better.

He didn't, but he liked ice cream and ate it anyway.

So as he screamed out loud for the seventh time in the last four hours, he began to cry, tears falling down his cheeks and his throat now beginning to grow sore. _Of course I don't believe in vampires_ , he had smiled. And then pictures, facts, pure and hard evidence was thrown in front if him.

Yet he smiled and repeated the words, _of course I don't believe in vampires,_ though tears were falling down his cheeks and a lump had begun to take place in his throat.

_Of course I don't believe in vampires. Of course I don’t believe in vampires._

_Of course I believe in vampires._ Because Sanha loved evidence, and there evidence was. His dad was born 193 years ago, his mother 180. They had wine bottles of animal blood in the basement, skin paler than sheets of printer paper, and they turned to dust at the sight of garlic.

Or so Sanha thought. Apparently, garlic and sun didn't kill vampires. Who would've guessed?

And so Sanha pretended to take it in his stride, before he ran to the living room and began to scream as loud as he could. He screamed that life wasn’t fair, and as his mother told the neighbour that he was just going through a school crisis, that the screaming was because Sanha couldn’t keep his assignments in check, Sanha found himself yelling that he wanted to watercolour.

Because if he was at watercolouring club, he wouldn't be here.

 

***

 

He was awoken at 1am in the middle of the night, his father's thumb softly stroking over his cheekbones until his eyes fluttered open, his mouth slightly open in a soft pout. His mother was there too, holding his hand from the other side, though Sanha couldn't really feel anything apart from fatigue and cold.

Though his parents were vampires, perhaps that cold was them.

“Sanha, there was something we hadn't told you yet. Something important." His father's voice was loud in the silence, and Sanha was tempted to cover his ears,

Sanha made a sound of understanding, though it could've been a grunt of frustration and tiredness, his messy orange hair still splayed out across the pillow and his face puffy.

“We got you this bracelet-“

Sanha shook his head, lifting his body up and leaning his back against the headrest. “I don't wear jewellery, vampire or not." His voice was tinged with youth and childishness from sleep that he wasn't sure he himself was speaking.

“Sanha, I promise you, this bracelet will help you in so many ways. Do you promise you'll wear it? For us?" His father's fingers were softly playing with strands of Sanha's hair, soft under his fingers. The only reason Sanha had ever dyed his brown hair to a shade of childish and bright orange was as a dare, and though he had tried to make it seem as if this was his decision, to go along with the dare, of course Sanha had asked his parents for permission, his fingers shaking alongside his heart.

And the only reason his parents agreed was for the wellbeing of their son, in the hope that succumbing to such silly and mindless games would increase the circles of friends associated to Sanha.

Which, surprisingly to the younger boy, it had.

Sanha now let the bracelet fall into his hands, a silver circle with inscriptions across the circumference, a language Sanha couldn't recognise, with two black threads from each side and finally meeting at the back in an adjustable knot. Sanha found it eerily beautiful. 

He asked his mother what it meant, and her hands fell from Sanha's hair to the bracelet, asking for his wrists so she could put the bracelet on.

Sanha's wrist was impossibly big in his mother’s small hands, and he smiled at the sight as his father began to speak.

“Every young vampire has one." His father's words and tone was filled with pride, and Sanha couldn't help wonder about his father, and truthfully, Twilight. His mother's fingers were fiddling with the string so that the bracelet was loose yet okay around his wrist. “It has the inscription of the clan you are in, the colour differing. But ours says something else too; 'O _nly true leaders have respect_.' You see Sanha, we are not like usual vampires, our family. We are important."

Sanha frowned as he made sure that the ring was on the inside of his wrist. “Important? Important how?"

“Group leaders, Sanha. The Yoon-Min Clan are leaders, of hundreds of other clans. There aren't many like us." His mother was standing and now was his father. “The leader of generations, of thousands of other vampires. We make sure everything is fair and okay."

“Shit." Sanha mumbled, before covering his mouth quickly, his eyes wide. His parents seemingly chose to ignore this. “How?"

“Fate." Was the simple answer, his mother's smile growing.

“Your teeth, with initiation, will come in at the age of eighteen, in a year, as well as the significant colour loss to your skin." The older man continued, fixing the cuffs of his shirt.

Sanha's skin was already paling at the words. “I-Initiation?"

“Yes." His mother replied curtly. “Initiation."

He sat up higher, his palms pressed to the mattress. “Of what sort?"

“That will have to be discussed later. Go to sleep now Sanha. You'll be late for school." A firm kiss was pressed to his forehead. “Goodnight, baby." The soft tone of his mother was soon replaced with pride and fingers smoothing over his cheek, his father smiling.

“Get ready to rule a kingdom, my boy."

Sanha didn't know what to say and fell asleep instead.

 

***

 

Sanha didn't expect the day to go any differently than usual.

Well, honestly, he had hoped. Though he was sure that something would go wrong. It was in the air, he noticed as he sat down in his form class, the teacher lazily filling in forms and occasionally reminding everyone to stop talking in order to avoid a detention after school.

Sanha himself was resting on his left hand, elbow against the table, and his psychology folder in front of him in a weak attempt at revising for the next mock exam. He wasn't surprised to realise that none of the information was staying in his head and he had ten more minutes left until his lesson. Sighing, he closed the orange folder and placed his arm flat on the table, laying his head on it, fatigue and realisation sinking into him.

Hopefully his parents wouldn't be too mad.

His eyes fluttered open suddenly at the sound of excited humming, the sound mixed with shuffling papers and noises of content. Sanha's eyebrows creased into a frown as he sat up, watching the boy who was in turn watching him.

His name was Park Minhyuk, a few months older than him, aged eighteen, and complete and utterly wild. He was a dance student, as well as being amazingly talented in rap. Park Minhyuk had quite the reputation, as player, fuckboy and everything else under the sun. Though Sanha knew that wasn’t true. Sanha and Minhyuk weren't friends, per se, rather quite close acquaintances, and Sanha was shocked to find that Minhyuk was actually pretty fun to be around, loud and excitable.

Right now, Minhyuk looked to be filled with air, on the verge of bursting, as he excitedly began to squeak, saying words with no meaning and repeating Sanha's name.

“Sanha," He finally managed to whisper. “Yoon fucking Sanha."

“Park Minhyuk." Sanha smiled at the older boy, watching his smile grow until he was sure it'd fall off. Typical Park Minhyuk.

“Could I perhaps by chance maybe possibly see your left wrist Sanha?"

Sanha was sure he felt his blood begin to run cold as he stuttered over his words. “M-My wrist? B-But why?"

“Because!" Minhyuk practically shrieked. “That bracelet is so fucking cool that I need to see it properly."

Sanha nearly let out a sigh of relief before composing himself and extending his arm in Minhyuk's direction, letting his arm lay on the table as he stroked over the string with this thumb. “Yoon-Min, huh? What does the other part say?"

Sanha remembered his father's words from yesterday and smiled proudly. “I don't know what language it is, but it says: ' _Only true leaders have respect_.' Isn't that so cool?" He noted that he sounded like a rather excited child rather than a teenager, and immediately sat still, because he was practically an adult now.

Sanha remained still as Minhyuk continued marvelling over the bracelet, and turned to look at the older boy's wrists instead. He noticed that Minhyuk's shirt sleeves entirely covered his arms, right to the beginning of his hands, disabling the chance of perhaps spotting a bracelet he himself wore.

 _What the heck?_   Sanha was just being paranoid. Minhyuk wasn't a vampire. And besides, it was a pretty nice bracelet, who wouldn't be interested in it?

Minhyuk, not strangely, began giggling before moving back to his seat as the bell began to ring.

Sanha was ready to fail psychology.

 

***

 

It was the end of the day when they approached him.

Minhyuk firmly grabbed his shoulders, smiling and leaning against him, and Sanha half expected the boy to tie him in a bag and throw him into the back of a van as two other boys approached.

The one on the left was unspeakably pretty, Sanha had thought, his face set in its expression, whilst the other one seemed to be wearing a permanent smile, breaking into a run when he was close enough and running straight into Minhyuk, knocking all three of them back. Pretty boy was still in the back, Sanha noticed, taking his sweet time.

The other boy's arms were around Minhyuk, and they were yelling loudly, the new boy's voice significantly sweeter sounding and higher pitched. Sanha watched the boy who was still walking, realising that he used to go to the school before leaving for university, alongside Minhyuk’s best friend. They were both nineteen.

He really was pretty.

“Hello." He finally smiled, his eyes seeming kinder. He was about three steps away from Sanha, his expression soft and his eyes large. “I'm Cha Eunwoo." Sanha was shocked to find that his voice was surprisingly deep, especially compared to his face. Sanha stared at him, mouth opening to speak and then closing again.

There were literally no words in Sanha's mind right now.

“He's Yoon Sanha." Minhyuk spoke up. “He's in my form class, and we have English together too."

“I'm Moonbin." The boy who spoke had his arm around Minhyuk's shoulders. “Bin, actually, but I prefer to go by Moonbin."

Sanha repeated the fish movement, before looking at Minhyuk. “What's going on?"

The two other boys began to laugh, Eunwoo's hand on Sanha's shoulder, soft and light. “We heard something."

Sanha looked at the other's boys. He was significantly taller than all of them apart from Eunwoo, though still taller than him. Sanha knew he was weirdly tall, though he felt it now.

“What? What did you hear?" Sanha knew he sounded nervous, but that was because he was nervous, his throat seemingly tight and fingers shaking as he leaned against the wall behind him. “Is it something bad?"

“Not exactly." Moonbin moved to lean next to Sanha, his smile still present and still as warming. And then Moonbin pushed the sleeves of his blazer up and Sanha though he was about to get punched in the face but a circle of silver caught his attention.

Sanha was speechless, yet the idea that perhaps Minhyuk told everyone about the younger boy's cool bracelet and his entire squad decided to get similar ones popped up in his mind.

“Cool bracelet." Sanha smiled.

“Heard yours was cooler." Moonbin beamed, his lips curling in a fashion similar to that of a cat's.

And then in turn, all the boys pulled up sleeves to reveal similar bracelets, all so similar yet so different that Sanha's world was spinning in front of him, so fast that he needed to grab the hand closest to him, which happened to be Moonbin's.

“Are you guys lying to me? Is this a joke?" Sanha's body was shaking as he slipped down, folding his legs under himself and staring up at their eyes, one by one. “Is this all legit?"

“Sanha-“

“W-What are you guys? What clans?" Sanha cut Minhyuk off.

Eunwoo bent down, sitting on the floor, still smiling warmly, before putting his wrist, clad in deep purple string, in the area in front of Sanha's lap. “Cha-Lim."

“Moon." Moonbin's legs were on the side of Sanha, his wrist of light blue taking place next to Eunwoo's. “My dad, a Moon, married another Moon."

Sanha breathed out heavily; it was a pretty cool name for a clan. His eyes wandered to Minhyuk's, the older boy on his side, hand rubbing Sanha's shoulder softly, other hand in front of Sanha already, a red string bracelet taking purchase. “Park-Kang."

“Shit.” Sanha mumbled as he moved his wrist to join the other three. “Shit. I just found this out yesterday, this is too much."

“So lucky." Minhyuk sighed loudly in a joking tone. “You have a black one. Goes with everything you wear."

“So you're a leader, huh?" Eunwoo's eyes traced over the inscription.

“M-My dad-“

“If your dad is a leader," Eunwoo looked at Sanha slowly. “You'll be one too. You're seventeen, right? Nothing's kicked in yet." He said mostly to himself, nodding slowly.

“Does that mean we get to train him?" Moonbin seemed too excited.

“I guess we could. One year left." Eunwoo looked at the other two. “Good plan?"

“We have to take him to Jinwoo and Myungjun first." Minhyuk punched Eunwoo's arm lightly. “We can't just take him up now."

Sanha watched them have a conversation about him whilst disregarding him completely, and began to play with the thread of the bracelet which had made him feel so much better than he had a mere hour ago. And yet it made no sense to him as to how he had found so much safety and comfort in less than a day from finding out the news which he thought would do more than change his life, perhaps even ruin it.

He was beyond thankful.

His father was right about the bracelet. It had helped in so many ways.

Minhyuk quite suddenly calling his name broke him from his thoughts. “You free right now?" Sanha thought it over. Would his parents let him out at such a time, when he had found out about himself? Or would they want him home? Perhaps to tell him more?

Despite this, Sanha nodded, making a sound of affirmation.

Minhyuk grinned, and Eunwoo stood up, grabbing Sanha's wrist and pulling him up. “We're taking you to meet our leader."

 

***

 

For some reason unknown to Sanha, the thought of meeting some vampire squad's leader entailed a dirty room and a man with scars and awfully messy hair.

The only part which Sanha had gotten right was the messy hair, as there, in the first bedroom area of what looked like a university student's apartment was a scary looking man with hair a shade of between blonde and brown, his head leaning against the back of his chair, tilted and facing the door where the four now stood.

He was wearing a pink sweatshirt, and his hair was all over the place, strands matted to his forehead, sticking all over the place, and curled upwards in some areas.

“Hey Hyung." Moonbin walked into the room fully, leaning against the wooden desk with his palms pressing against it. “Meet Yoon Sanha."

The older boy, presumably the leader, sat up properly, his eyes now on Sanha, his lips pushing slightly out into a pout. “Sanha?"

“Yeah. Found out yesterday, Yoon-Min." Eunwoo was taking a drink from the bottle of water, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, his shoes kicked to somewhere across the room and his toes wiggling.

Minhyuk found his way into the room too, throwing his bag onto the barely made bed and taking a seat on it, kicking his shoes off so violently that they flew half way across the room and Sanha had to duck to avoid one.

“Leader clan?" The oldest inquired. “Yoon-Min?" Finally, his fairly intimidating stare had turned into a smile, one that completely reached his eyes in a way that looked cute actually. Sanha didn't think it was possible for someone to look so scary and then so cute. “Pleasure to meet you, Yoon Sanha." He stood up and walked over to Sanha, extending his hand out to shake. “I'm Park Jinwoo. Park-Seo."

Sanha took it, shaking it softly, before noticing how sweaty his own hands were and quickly apologising, but the leader shook it off.

“Is Jun Hyung back yet?” Moonbin really had the softest voice, Sanha noted. As if he was talking to a newborn kitten.

“Has a presentation. I think he'll be back late." Jinwoo took the bottle of water from Eunwoo's hand, taking a sip whilst surveying the room, before giving it back to the whining boy. “Sorry the place is a mess-“

“You don't need to worry about that!" Sanha beamed happily. “I'm just happy I'm not alone! I was pretty worried that I’d have no one to go through this with and now I have you guys! I think." The smile never fell from Sanha's lips as he realised it was something he had been meaning to say for a while. “Thank you guys."

“Of course you have us." Jinwoo's eyes were filled with so much warmth and sentiment that Sanha could've cried. “You can trust us with anything, we'll keep you safe." The others made sounds of affirmation and Sanha felt his smile grow as well as his heart swell.

“We've decided to train him." Eunwoo declared, standing up. “He's to become a leader, only one year left to initiation."

“Seventeen? That's three years younger than me and Myungjun." Jinwoo looked defeated as he sat back onto his seat, and only then did Sanha realise that the computer desktop was a picture of a kitten who looked absurdly confused. “I feel old."

“You are old." Eunwoo retorted.

“Thanks."

“No problem."

There was silence as Jinwoo tapped out a rhythm on his knee, and Sanha briefly wondered if this would turn into a number from High School Musical, consisting of Jinwoo randomly making some badass music off of his knees and the rest singing happily, jumping everywhere and dancing.

He pushed the image to the back of his mind.

“Jinwoo Hyung-“

“Call me Jinjin." The older boy corrected. “Just Jinjin.”

“Uh, yeah, Jinjin?" He made a sound, signalling for Sanha to go on. “What do you mean by train me?”

Jinjin suddenly looked shock, his mouth slightly falling open. “You guys didn't tell him?"

“We kind of did.” Eunwoo was scratching the back of his neck as he stood up. “We didn't want to overwhelm him or anything, of course."

“Of course." Jinjin echoed, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater in the most endearing way. “Well, Sanha, it has come to my attention that you had only discovered your fate yesterday." Sanha nodded. “And you have heard of your initiation at eighteen?” Sanha nodded yet again, though a slight wave of nausea flooded him. What was this initiation and why was no one _elaborating_? “Well, initiation is definitely for later, if you agree of course, but as you are leader clan, you realise you're going to lead a shit ton of clans?"

Sanha smiled nervously, nodding with his lips now slightly pouted out. “I had a feeling."

"Quick question, do you agree to us training you?"

Sanha felt all eyes on him as he nodded furiously, before Jinjin had even finished singing, because where else was he going to find five other vampires, including this Myungjun guy, who were so willing to help him?

“Nothing too serious in training yet, just the training of leadership, small things first." Minhyuk looked too happy, his smile large. “Man, this is so cool! We're going to train a leader!"

Sanha nodded softly _. Training a leader.  He was going to be a leader. Shit, that would never settle in._ “So, uh, when does this leadership thing kick in? Do I actually have to _lead_? How do you even lead someone? When does the leading start?" Sanha began to play with the sleeves of his shirt in a manner similar to Jinjin as he frowned.

“Bit by bit, of course!" Moonbin said, his voice still impossibly soft and light despite the excitement. “First, you'll help in making the basic decisions, from the age of eighteen, and then it'll become you having the ability to make your own, smaller decisions. But you won't have full power until your father either passes it to you or dies."

“My dad won't die." Sanha spoke too firmly that he felt a wave of sadness in himself. Of course, his parents would never die, never ever. They'd stay with him forever and they'd all grow old together and everything would stay exactly the same, peaceful and untouched.

“Ah, oblivious and innocent youth." Jinjin sighed softly, falling back into his chair.

“Hyung." Eunwoo looked at him, a weird expression on his face, a mix of amusement and confusion. “I was just playing. You're not that old."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the suckiest idea for a fic I have ever had but isn't Vampire!ASTRO teaching Sanha the sweetest thing in the universe?
> 
> Please bear with me and my lack of updates and my bad writing. I just wanted to pursue this fic idea so bad D:
> 
> Feedback is really appreciated in order for me to work on my writing, so I would appreciate it a lot
> 
> Thank you for reading and congratulations on making it to the end :D


	2. nightfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there are things i have to clarify before you start:
> 
> -There is mention of end of the world, death, etc., but only a little.  
> -Sanha swearing will be introduced, and will increase majorly.  
> -College in England (where I live) is the two years before you go to university.  
> -This story is based on the British school system because I don't know anything about anywhere else in the world I am pathetic.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :D

Sanha wasn't surprised to find his parents waiting for him the second he opened the front door.

He didn't know why. It's not like he ever came home as soon as school finished anyway. Sanha was a busy guy. He was first greeted with his father's smile, his longer fingers on Sanha's smaller shoulders. “Hello Sanha, my boy. How was your day?” Sanha realised that it was 7pm, not very late into the evening.

“Great, actually." Sanha began to smile at his father as genuinely as he could. “Seriously, everything's pretty great.!

Sanha could've laughed when he heard his mother release a breathy laugh, a smile forming on her lips as his father began to laugh. Sanha was on the verge of asking what was so funny when his mother leaned her head against his father’s shoulder, her eyes fluttering closed and a happy sigh leaving her lips. “Finally." She whispered. “Finally, we're happy." Sanha could feel his heart explode in his chest as her fingers found their way to his, intertwining softly, his fingers significantly larger than his. “God, Sanha, you make us so happy."

His fingers found their way around hers, until their hands were locked softly, and Sanha's eyebrows had creased into a frown. “I would've guessed so, seeing as I am your son, your only one at that."

His dad let out another loud laugh, smiling before beginning to ruffle Sanha's hair, pushing the younger boys by his shoulders into his chest, and Sanha's arms instinctively when to his father's waist. His father smelt oddly like cinnamon and lemon, all mixed together, and Sanha's body begin to slump forward, face squished and lips pressed into a pout.

“You make us so proud, Sanha." His fingers ran through the orange hair as he spoke. “You've gotten used to it already, huh?"

“Not gotten used to it." Sanha disagreed, shaking his head. “Just accepted it."

“Hey, let's not talk about this vampire thing right now." His mother's thumb rubbed soft circles into the back of his hand as she straightened up. “Sanha still hasn't told us who he was with this whole time."

“Friends." Sanha answered immediately.

“What are their names" His father was quick to respond.

Sanha shrugged, making show of moving away from his parents to pick up the blazer he had thrown onto the armchair the second he had walked in. “Why does it matter?"

“Because we're your parents.” His father retorted. “And we have the right to know who you're with, in case you're around dangerous people."

Sanha found that he was rolling his eyes before he leaned back against the window. He hesitated, before quickly shaking his head. “No, they're not dangerous. Their names? Uh, Cha Eunwoo, Park Jinwoo, Moon Bin and Park Minhyuk."

He wasn't at all surprised to see his mother's left eyebrow rise. “Park Minhyuk? I didn't know you two were friends."

Sanha shrugged again as he picked his backpack off of the floor, swinging it onto his shoulder. “We didn't really used to be. We were close, just not friends."

“And Cha Eunwoo." His father frowned. “I'm pretty sure I recognise that name."

“He's at university right now. Left the school last year, I think. He's a guy everyone knows, probably because he looks so damn good. Nice face, that's undeniable." His father nodded in response, before Sanha quickly dismissed himself with a goodnight and the excuse that he had to change out of his clothes, because he could only be in his school uniform for so long.

 

***

 

Sanha rarely ever had homework to do nowadays.

It was weird; All of a sudden, there was a significant lack of work which resulted in free evenings and boredom, a recurring show, an encore every night. And Sanha didn't have many interests, because everything very much only piqued a little interest, no interest at all, or was downright confusing.

But Sanha liked nature, apart from insects, which he found extremely unsettling.

So Sanha, with his love for nature, spent countless hours every day with his head on the window sill, watching the colours of the early June sky and the trees growing just outside his window and his small window box of light yellow and pale purple carnations.

There were even a few daisies in there too.

Sanha also loved reading, and enjoyed dystopian fictions the best, because he could live with the feeling of happiness, that his world wasn't like that. Looking at his hands now, Sanha quickly remembered that he had also read Twilight once upon a time, and hadn't particularly enjoyed the lust and passion that seemingly came with being a vampire. Sanha sort of flinched and stepped back as he wondered if that was what being a vampire actually entailed, and even stuck his tongue out.

He roughly sat on the floor, now dressed in white pyjamas with a whale on the shirt, before lying down on the floor, staring at the ceiling with his hand on his chest and his mouth slightly open. He began to think about vampires, about how they had fangs and pale skin and were feared and lived forever.

Sanha didn't really want to live forever.

Sanha, seventeen year old Sanha, had a fear of the future and the end of the world and the afterlife and death, and as he felt tears begin to flood his vision until the ceiling turned into clouds, a thought came into his mind. If he lived forever, would that mean that he would see the many dystopian futures he enjoyed not living in? And how would he live without people realising he looked exactly the same as the day before, and a month before, and a decade before?

How would people not see that he was unchanging?

Sanha knew that finding out he was a vampire would bring up countless questions that he had suppressed and hoped would never in his whole life ever arise, yet now, faced with his biggest fear, what else could he do but finally think about death? About how he could see the universe ruin itself until there was nothing else? Another one of Sanha's hugest fears, seeing the people ruin their home, seeing the universe begging to be saved and punished with poisons and the thinning of its atmosphere.

He sat up, his vision too clouded and his mind too drained to even try this. He couldn't and he wouldn't. Because all he needed was faith. Faith was all he had anymore. Sanha was seventeen, and a vampire too apparently. He did not need to think about death. He did not need to think about the world dying because he had faith, and faith was his strongest weapon.

He noticed that the sky was impossibly black right now, and from his bedroom windows, he could see the silvery white of the moon, and the deep blue of the sky. The clock read 10pm, and Sanha let out a bitter sigh. _Time was always moving way too quickly._

And so Sanha, with little interest, let his head fall back again and felt emptiness and sleep engulf him.

 

***

 

The next day was a Saturday.

Sanha woke up with his back more than slightly stiff and his hair messier than usual, but on his bed, and figured that his parents must have moved him there at some point. Sitting up and messing his hair up a little to move it from his eyes, he thought about what he could do today, and what vampires would usually do with their days. It was only then that he fully noticed the wisps of bright orange completely covering his eyes that it came to him.

He was going to dye his hair.

Because, he figured, orange was not normal for the heir of a vampire leader.

He thought about it whilst getting out of bed, and then whilst going down the stairs and into the kitchen, where his mother sat, drinking from a mug with the lingering smell of coffee, fresh and overwhelming, taking over his senses. Seeing as the time was 11am, he figured that his father was at work and took a seat opposite his mother.

He stared at his mother for a while, a small woman with soft features and pink lips, a woman who always wore her glasses right on the edge of her nose and her hair over her shoulders, travelling over her collarbone and ending just a few centimetres below there.

Sanha had always thought she was the prettiest woman alive.

Right now, her fingers were around the handle of the mug which was still on the table, a book in her hands. She looked awfully peaceful and calm, and Sanha really didn't want to disrupt her, but sighed ever so softly before he spoke.

“Uh, Mother?"

Sanha smiled as he watched his mother flinch just a little, before freeing her hands and smiling. “I didn't see you there." Her lips twitched further upwards as Sanha replied with an apology, the smile never leaving his lips. Sanha leaned forwards to rest his chin in his hands, pouting his lips slightly and subconsciously, an aspect of himself he had tried to change many times and had never succeeded in doing. His mother waved the apology away with the slight movement of her hand.

“I need your opinion." His mother nodded, motioning for him to continue. “If I dyed my hair again, what colour would work?"

Sanha's mother laughed, a sweet and happy laugh, one which resembled his own, yet higher in pitch. “I am the worst person you could ask that question! You're my son, and I think every colour would work. Hell, you could dye your hair mould green and I would think it was beautiful." Sanha's pout increased and her laugh grew louder as she ruffled his hair. “Your hair and you will always be beautiful to me, you know that." Sanha nodded slowly. “Hey, I have a lot of work to do, so I'm going to the living room, but make sure you get some food in you, okay? You fell asleep before eating last night." She was up before the words were spoken, lingering at the door of the kitchen, ready to leave.  “Are you going to get your hair dyed today then?"

Sanha nodded quickly. “Orange isn't really my colour anymore."

His mother turned around to look at him, seemingly lost in thought. “You look nice with orange hair. Cute, young."

“I was thinking more mould green." His smile was hard to hide as he pressed his lips taut. “Very chic." Laughter filled the room again, and Sanha felt butterflies flood into his stomach.

His phone rang minutes later, and he was confused to see Minhyuk’s name in the caller ID. He notable hesitated before answering, the kitchen now clear as he sat at the small wooden table by himself.

He began to think about Minhyuk as his finger hovered over the green icon, the boy he now considered a friend, one day causing everything he knew and more to change, because Sanha was still plunged deep in oblivion, and there was so much he didn't know and may never know.

Sanha answered the call.

“Yo Sanha!" Minhyuk seemed way too excited and Sanha could almost feel his eardrums just melt a little. “What are you up to today?"

Sanha wasn't used to having phone conversations with friends and began to tap on the table. He didn't really know what to say. “Uh, nothing really. Planning to dye my hair, I guess."

“Shit really? That's so cool. Can I help?"

Sanha had no idea why Minhyuk wanted to help but agreed either way. “Don't really know how to do it myself. I could do with a little help actually. Thanks, man."

“No problem." Minhyuk's smile was evident as he told Sanha to meet him at some store at exactly 11:45, or in twenty minutes. After exchanging goodbyes, Sanha waited for Minhyuk to hang up, before yelling out to his mother that he was going out,

Slowly, he went upstairs to change, because going out in his pyjamas did not seem smart in the slightest.

 

***

 

Sanha was pretty shocked to see three boys screaming out his name, calling out excitedly and waving arms wildly and even though people were looking at them as if they were crazy, they didn't seem to care in the slightest.

Eunwoo, Moonbin and Minhyuk had the hugest smiles on their faces, and Sanha began to laugh as he ran up to them, yelling out a hello and smiling bigger than he had before, and before he knew what was going on, arms were engulfing him and everyone sounded muffled, but Sanha couldn't tell if that was because of his heart soaring in his chest or the bodies pressed to his ears.

“Man, Sanha. It's been less than twenty four hours but I've missed you a lot." Minhyuk sounded as if he had difficulty speaking, and considering the three bodies wrapped around him, Minhyuk was probably going through a similar thing.

“Shit, you're going to kill him, that's enough." Eunwoo called out as he pulled Sanha's arm out of the mess, finally freeing him and dragging him forwards as he heard the other boys behind him. “So, what are we buying?"

“Clothes." Minhyuk's arm swung over Sanha's shoulder. “Because this is not a good look. You look like you just woke up."

Sanha felt Moonbin's arm loop into his until all four of them were pressed impossibly close together, Sanha noticed. “I did just wake up." He protested, before looking down at himself. He was wearing a dark grey sweater which, like everything he wore, was way too big because there was nothing which worked well with his weirdly tall and thin body. "And I need hair dye."

“Hair dye?" Eunwoo inquired, looking at the younger boy. “But I like your hair."

“It's cute." Moonbin added.

“Makes you look young." Minhyuk agreed.

“And childish." Sanha retorted. “I'm seventeen, and I look five."

“It's a good look." Eunwoo lead the small group to the aisle of hair care. “Girls love cute looking boys."

“Which is exactly why those two cute little boys have no girlfriends." Minhyuk scoffed before removing himself from Sanha to look at the different colours, and after scanning over the shelf, he pointed at one. “Hey, this colour's pretty nice." Sanha turned to look at what Minhyuk’s attention had settled onto, a blue box with an awfully naked lady on it. Her hair was a sort of white, Sanha decided. Platinum-ish.

“We're too busy for girls." Eunwoo retaliated. “We're in university."

“Exactly. And even then, what kind of boys are girls into, Mr Women Master?" Moonbin looked slightly amused as he turned around from the varieties of hair dye to face the younger boy.

Minhyuk shrugged. “Manly ones."

Moonbin scoffed. “And you're a manly one?"

“Manlier looking than you guys." Minhyuk had his hands in his pockets. “And besides, there are lots of girls, right? And they all have opinions and therefore have different ideas of what they like."

Eunwoo agreed and left it at that.

The three boys were all walking across the entire aisle, making soft comments and pointing out ideas to each other and all Sanha could do was watch because he had no idea how to slip in. 

“Do you have any ideas of what you want?" Moonbin suddenly asked him, and Sanha's attention piqued as he ran over to the older boy. “I mean, if you're going for a more mature look, I think a blonde, kind of bordering on brown, would work. It works with your features, makes you look young and sweet, but also adds maturity." Eunwoo hummed in agreement, whilst Minhyuk disagreed, saying that they should dye his hair black and add blue highlights.

Sanha immediately disapproved the idea.

So in the end, Sanha had decided on a nice shade of a dull and light caramel colour, slightly blonde and slightly brown, and even though all he wanted to do was go to wherever and put it in his hair and fall asleep, he couldn't deny Eunwoo's pleads of helping them buy things for the dorm. He had found out that Jinjin and the Myungjun person he had never met shared a dorm, and Eunwoo and Moonbin shared one too. They were all in university, the Hell Sanha had one year before he would have to enter. Understandably, Minhyuk, a college student, still lived with his parents.

And so as Sanha was looking at the different types of cheeses, he was very shocked to see a camera shoved into his face, and a smiling Minhyuk behind it.

Sanha was speechless.

“Jinjin Hyung said that because we were training you, it'd be a good idea to film it. Is that okay?" Sanha hadn't realised Eunwoo was standing behind him. All he could do was nod.

“Great!" Minhyuk smiled excitedly, before facing the camera to himself. “Day one of training Sanha; cheese buying! Hell to whoever is watching this!"

Eunwoo grabbed Minhyuk's wrists before facing the camera in his direction, all whilst Sanha watched, a pack of cheese thins in his hands and a smile beginning to grow on his face. “Hello guys! Minhyuk is stupid and his only friend is a camera and he has no one else to talk to." Minhyuk began to protest and push Eunwoo away as Eunwoo began to laugh, slightly bending down and clutching his stomach, his laugh deep and escaping in hiccups.

“Might want to focus on the actual guy we're supposed to film." Moonbin's arm wound around Sanha's shoulders. “I mean, unless you guys want to sit there and film yourselves."

“Right." Minhyuk coughed, and Sanha's smile began to grow as Minhyuk turned to overlook Sanha, the camera covering the older boy's face. “So, Sanha," Sanha made a noise which Minhyuk took as a signal to continue. “How did it feel to find out you were a vampire?"

“Well," Sanha made a show of straightening up and even made himself sound a little more formal and enthusiastic. “There is no denying that it was extremely absolutely exciting to find out. Not only this, but the sheer _idea_ of leading like a million people, even with my fear of public speaking, is what really gets me ticking!" He even added a deep laugh at the end which caused the other boys to laugh, and continued to laugh as if Sanha was the funniest guy in the world.

It was a nice feeling.

The camera was shaking around as Minhyuk doubled over, swearing and gasping as he attempted to keep the view on Sanha. “A-And how does it feel to know how a v-vampire buys cheese?" He stuttered through his laughter.

“Why, absolutely remarkable!" Sanha could barely contain his own laughter as Moonbin leaned against him, his laugh sounding like bells, soft just like his way of speaking, and soon, all four of them were laughing loud enough for people miles away to hear.

The thing was, Sanha wasn't really laughing because he found anything funny. It was more that he was happy.

So impossibly happy.

The camera remained on Sanha for a great portion of the trip, and every time he would pick anything up, Minhyuk would be there, asking him why, how, and for the bloody history of the thing. But soon enough, both Minhyuk and Sanha had put shopping to the back of their minds and were following Eunwoo and Moonbin whilst making loud noises and filming each other in turn.

It had started with the occasional comment, secretly filming the older two and whispering things to the camera. But it had later turned to Sanha crawling across the floor whilst Minhyuk slanted the camera so it looked as if Sanha was climbing up a wall, and Sanha filming Minhyuk flapping his arms around and stomping heavily as if he was a dinosaur.

Sanha didn't really understand why a camera was needed for his training, but he didn't really mind it after a while. It was pretty fun to film these little skits.

Eunwoo had told them to stop when they were all due to walk back to their dorm, telling them they would have to carry some bags as well and would therefore have to stop filming. But that didn't stop their witty conversation, which Moonbin would occasionally drop a comment into and Eunwoo would listen to whilst laughing.

Sanha realised that they looked as if they had been friends forever.

 

 

***

 

When Sanha was told to get into the bathroom, he in no way expected his neck to be grabbed and his head to be greeted with an onslaught of cold water and his body to be pushed to it's knees so his head could hover over the bathtub. He knew that it was to wash away the foam of the hair dye, but it oddly seemed like torture as well.

“W-Way too c-cold.” He stuttered. “Sh-Shit, that's really c-cold." Moonbin hummed softly that it was an accident before quickly turning the temperature up as Eunwoo mumbled something in a disapproving tone, about how freezing their youngest, and a to-be leader of millions to death was not the greatest thing to do. Moonbin's fingers were impossibly soft against his scalp, massaging and light and as the hot water hit him, he couldn't help but giggle slightly, because he just felt so _relaxed._

“You okay down there?" Minhyuk frowned. “You high or some shit?"

“No. Shit, no Minhyuk. I'm fucking _great."_  Sanha did sound a little high, and he heard Moonbin laugh, as Eunwoo agreed, saying that Moonbin's hands were pretty great.

“Eunwoo, man. You don't say shit like that. You know what it sounds like?" Minhyuk was sitting on the edge of the bath tub.

“I mean when he washes my hair." Eunwoo was now besides them, fingers beginning to brush through Sanha's hair as the water continued streaming through.

Minhyuk paused before speaking. “You're not helping yourself."

Before Eunwoo could retaliate, Moonbin turned the taps off and quickly stood up, yelling out _“done!"_ and raising his hands happily. “It's all done!"

“Shit!" Minhyuk yelled. “Shit, everyone close your eyes and let me get the camera!" When Sanha straightened his back a little, he was greeted with water dripping onto his face as he squinted into the camera that had seemingly appeared by magic. He briefly wondered if Minhyuk could teleport.

Minhyuk let out a little gasp. “Your hair looks really cool." And then his snorted. "But you, my man, you look like shit. You look like you just got up after sleeping for eleven years." Sanha blinked rapidly and used the towel Moonbin was now offering him to wipe his face and then run through his hair several times, before standing up and running his fingers through his hair. A little dryer but still wet. “Much better." Minhyuk approved. “You look less like a crazy cat lady."

“Your hair looks great!" Eunwoo nodded happily. “And I thought the orange looked good. Man, this looks amazing."

“It still looks a little orangey." Moonbin pointed out. “I guess that's because we couldn't bleach it, huh? But the orange-ness looks nice. Makes it look kinda red, you know, just a little. Damn, Sanha, it looks really good."

Sanha looked at Eunwoo who sent him a little 'okay' with his fingers, smiling. And so Sanha finally faced the mirror cabinet behind him which he knew held toothbrushes and body lotion as well as a few medicines the two have received over their year together as roommates for a variety of illnesses.

He realised he was procrastinating, avoiding the mirror, and turned to look at the sink instead. Minhyuk's camera was just over his shoulder, the weight of it evident on Sanha’'s shoulder. And with squinting eyes, Sanha looked up.

He couldn't help but gasp.

He didn't look like Sanha. He didn't look like the orange haired boy who failed everything and sat in his room all day and did nothing with his life. No, he couldn't even recognise himself. His hair was amazingly and spectacularly different that he was so sure he was holding his breath. His fingers grabbed part of the fringe, running them down the length, and found himself shocked when he saw the shade of it in front of his eyes, despite looking into a mirror and seeing it all right in front of him. He wasn't sure he could get used to this.

Yet it was such an improvement that Sanha felt a swell of pride in his stomach. No more childish Sanha. No, this was the birth of vampire Sanha, a slightly more mature though not 100% adult student who didn't waste his time.

Sanha was set on change.


End file.
